A few weekends ago my friends and take a trip to Miami. It was a my Kelsy’s Birthday Trip.
A little background of my group of friends that were going to be on the trip.
- Kenya– She’s Kenyan obviously. We met sophomore year of college through work. After getting to know her we found out we had a lot in common. We go out with the same crowds, attend the same frat houses, and became good friends.
- Nyler– He’s the college GBF. I met him sophomore year through Kenya. He would always come into work and visit Kenya. It wasn’t until junior year of college that we became good friends.
- Kelsy– She’s my taco lover soulmate. I only met her senior year. She was my co-manager at work. At first I was kind of indifferent about her until my birthday. This girl, only knowing me for about a few weeks, got me the most me present ever. She bought me a sloth birthday card that read, “Happy 21 +1 Birthday!” (I refuse to be 22) and a bottle of hot sauce. After that I decided she was pretty cool. Then she started hardcore complaining about how her roommate was the devil. That’s when I fell in love with this girl. We bonded because of our hatred for our roommates.
Unfortunately Kenya had to cancel last minute and couldn’t make the trip 🙁
Day 1
Flight
Every time I pick my seat on an airplane I make a wish to myself that a hot man will be seated next to me. This wish has never come true until this trip. It finally happened! A hot man was seated next to me on my flight. He was beautiful. Tall tan and handsome, a little bit ethnically ambiguous too. He also had a killer smile. I on the other hand looked like a wild woman. I had gotten no sleep the night before because I was frantically trying to finish my last blog post/avoiding my roommate/buying lipstick. I couldn’t wait any longer and had to write bachelorette updates. In addition, I hadn’t shaved for a good portion of time. I had Sasquatch legs and decided to wear capri leggings. The plan was to get waxed before Miami but with my new work schedule I couldn’t get an appointment. I looked like a wreck. All I wanted to do was get on the plane, find my seat, knockout and get a few hours of sleep before Miami. Hot Man just had to be friendly. He kept talking and making conversation. Any other time I would have loved it, and flirt back. But I just wanted to sleep. He found out that it was my friends and I’s first time in Miami and gave a lot of destinations to hit up in during our short trip. He used to live there and gave me a list full of suggestions. Great guy. I wished I remembered his name.
The whole time on the plane I was worried he’d see my hairy legs, freak out and think Oh my. I’m sitting next to a homeless woman. What 22 year old woman has such hairy legs and such wild hair? She also looks a bit crazy in the eyes I was paranoid and very tired. Hot Man being nice kept telling me all about Miami, his college days, and gave some life tips. While raving about how much fun he had in college taking trips to my Uni, he talked endlessly about how beautiful and attractive girls from my college are.Uhhh. Are you trying to say I’m hot because if so Eventually Mr. Hot Man either is genuinely tired or realizes I’m a crazy wreck (maybe he spotted my grizzly bear legs) because he mentions wanting to rest his eyes before landing in Miami.
Plane lands. Hot Man grabs his bag briefly says bye and heads off. Okay…he definitely saw my hairy legs and got scared. Bye Hot Man. You will forever be in my heart as I waved from behind him and secretly add him to my snapchat story. Kelsy and I meet up with Nyler at baggage claim. Nyler lets us know that we just missed a really attractive man. It’s okay because I tell him how I was sat next to an attractive man (Kelsy agrees) on the plane. I saw Nyler a picture of Hot Man’s back…IT WAS THE SAME MAN! Hot Man touched our hearts that day with his attractiveness. We will never forget you. After drooling over Hot Man, we grab a Lyft and head off to our hotel.
Lyft
Nyler’s a bit tipsy. I’m still slap happy. Kelsy is…I’m not sure… But we share our life story with this Lyft driver and he’s finding us hilarious. He’s even so lucky to hear the infamous Emanuel story, a Tinder first date horror story. I told Kelsy she should write it in her blog. If she ends up doing so I’ll insert a link to it. Everyone in our college friend group has heard it. It’s been shared with friends in Costa Rica, Las Vegas and now our Lyft driver. Emanuel, he’s a shark boy looking man who thinks he’s a gangsta, currently in law school and definitely has short man syndrome.*I really hope she writes a blog post about it so I can share the details of this great story*
Orange Blossom
After settling in at our beach side hotel we all decide to go explore the streets of Miami. We get hungry really quickly and decide to look for a place to eat. Our search goes like this:
“Too expensive”
“Let’s keep looking (because it was expensive)”
“Ehhh (too expensive again)”
“Bottomless mimosas?” “DONE!”
We chose Orange Blossom, the place with bottomless drinks. The food was fairly priced and really good. Kelsy ordered breakfast, huevos rancheros while Nyler got a medium rare burger. I ordered steamed mussels in a white wine sauce. They were amazing! The group of us hadn’t been out together for a little over a month and so we had a lot to catch up on. After finishing our meals we sat around drinking and talking. The service was great. Usually with bottomless drinks I’m used to having to order a new drink once finishing the drink at hand. Our waitress refilled our glasses every time without us having to grab her. Our glasses were never hit below halfway. I wish I counted the number of drinks we drank because I didn’t think one could get so sloshed drinking mimosas. We kept chatting, sharing stories, and drinking. I didn’t realize it at the time but I blacking out. According to Kelsy, the only one who didn’t black out, we were all a hot mess. When am I not a hot mess? I’m blacked out at this point so the following is what I gathered together from Kelsy’s memory and the combination of everyone’s snapchat stories.
By the time we got back to the hotel I guess we thought to grab some more shampoo, conditioner, and lotion. Our hotel just leaves the maid’s cart in the hallway with towels and the mini bathroom items. From what I saw of a video on Kelsy’s snapstory,I was stumbling around, grabbing shampoo?, when I lose my balance and fall backwards. I caught myself with in the door frame…or so I thought because I end up falling backward through an open door (it looked closed) onto my ass. Essentially barging into someone’s room. I think they had thought their door was closed because they were shocked when I fell through…or maybe they were just shocked and surprised by my epic fall. I apologized and excused myself. At some point we end up lying outside our door (according to the video footage of someone’s snapchat). Apparently we lost our key. It had been a while until we realized that we had our key and that we were in front of the wrong door. Drunk people are not very smart. After struggling to re-enter our rooms we crawled into bed and passed out.
Kelsy was the first to wake up and get ready. She tried multiple times to wake Nyler and I but we were out. This is the part I start remembering. I finally wake up super groggy and still intoxicated. I had to use the bathroom relieve my bladder full of mimosa. I stumble to the bathroom….
“Why are there towels everywhere and why is there water leaking from the bathroom? Ew. Did someone puke?” Did I puke?
Nyler: “I’m gonna clean it up! Oh and the toilet is clogged”
I stumble back to bed. I vaguely remember some guy coming in helping us fix the toilet and thanking him profusely. I go use the bathroom. The bathroom is still a mess. Whatever. I need to go. I use a towel and wipe off some puke that was still on the seat. I stumble out ready to jump back into bed when Kelsy yells at me saying we need to go out. “It’s fine. You guys go out. I’ll be in bed.” Kelsy isn’t having it. Ugh. I throw on a new shirt and some wedges. “Let’s go.” I start waking up more realizing I’m still drunk and I don’t remember coming back from lunch.
First night out
Basement Bar
We get to our first bar. It was in the basement of some hotel. The environment was chill and relaxed. Our group may have been a little bit too over dressed and too intoxicated for the bar at the time. The people there were dressed well but casual. There was a bowling ally in the main room with the bar. In another room there was an ice skating rink! Guests could rent skates and skate on the rink. No one was on the rink yet and everyone seemed rather sober so we decided to leave and go to the next place, a club. It would have been cool to have seen this place later at night when there would have been more people, specifically more intoxicated people on the rink
Liv
Our Lyft takes us to the next location. While we were there we walked passed the club. It didn’t look like it people where there yet. We all decided to go explore the hotel we were in. Kelsy and I spot a sign that said Hakkasan. That was one of our favorite clubs in Vegas. “We have to find Hakkasan!” Eagerly, we follow the signs through the halls and up an elevator. A hostess greets us. We’re a bit confused. This place definitely did not look like a club.
“Is this a club?” I ask the hostess.
“No only in Vegas it’s a club. This is a restaurant.”
“Damn. We were hoping for the club.”
Disappointed we walk back to the Liv. There was already a line at the door. We line up talking and wondering what cover will be like. After a short wait one of the guys working the line approaches me. “Who are you with tonight?” “These lovely people,” as I gesture to Kelsy and Nyler. He looks at Kelsy and I and replies,”You’re with me tonight.” Umm…okay. He then proceeds to life the gate to let us out of line and gestures for Kelsy and I to go head in. Nyler was told to over to the side to pay cover. Yikes! Sucks to be a man sometimes Cover for Nyler was $60! I told him I would pay for his drinks to cover some of his entrance costs. This place was definitely a place we were more dressed for. It was a gorgeous night club. It reminded me of Spark 101 in Taipei. Unfortunately, the vibe was mediocre. The music was fine, they played quite a few throwback songs. Flashback Friday maybe? Tthe drinks were expensive, and the people were boring. Nyler described it as “No one danced. People just showed up to be pretty.” The club was not that much different than a nicer midwest club in Indy, except maybe the people were indeed prettier. With the amount of money I spent for 1 drink and water, I could have had at least 4 Long Islands in Indy. I was disappointed at the club and how hyped up everyone made it appear. Despite my dismay of Liv, I did have fun just being out with friends. We ended up calling it an earlier night and left before closing.
Day 2
Beach
The next morning we woke up early and decided to go to the beach. The white sandy beaches were one of my favorite things about Miami. The water was a beautiful crisp blue. It was a relaxing morning of selfies on the beach and splashes in the water. Our hotel provided us with free towels and beach side chairs. Umbrellas were an additional $15. We decided to skip out on the umbrella, which may not have been the best idea because it was HOT outside. Fortunately the water was nice and refreshing. Laying out in the hot sun made us extremely dehydrated. On our way to the beach, we noticed people drinking out of coconuts and decided a coconut would be rejuvenating. The electrolytes would help re-energize us as well.
$15 for a shared umbrella…outrageous.
$10 for a coconut? We’ll take three!
We each bought a coconut… Not sure if they were really worth the $10. I don’t think they were ripe enough or maybe they were a different variety than the one’s I’m used to drinking but the water was very bland and not that sweet. We did take some awesome pictures of the three of us and our coconuts. After a long morning of being basic posting pictures on social media, Kelsy and I decided food was needed soon. Nyler wanted to stay on the beach for a little longer.
”We’re hungry!”
*Silence from Nyler*
*Glares at Nyler* “We want tacos!”
“Alright. 10 more minutes.”
“Ugh. Fine.”
~10 minutes later~
“Alright. Time for food. Let’s go!”
“What?! It’s already been 10 minutes?”
“Yup! We’re heading back.”
We return the towels to our hotel and stop by the concierge to ask for some good places to eat. “What are you guys in the mood for?” “Tacos.” The man at the desk recommended Senior Frogs. Kelsy and I look at each other with a face….not exactly the type of place we were thinking of. If you don’t know what Senior Frogs is, it is a chain that is known for cheap alcohol and crazy parties. We’re familiar with those type of bars. We graduated from one of the nation’s top party schools, not exactly the scene we were looking for. The concierge then proceeds to ask us where we were from. “Oh you’re from the Midwest? This is the first time you all have traveled to Miami?” He then pulls out all these business cards with coupons and vouchers of different places we have to visit. Another good place for food that was a must go according to him was Publix. “They have some of the best sandwiches.” You’re kidding right? You want us to try these sandwiches from a chain grocery store? I was beginning to think this concierge may have been dumb. Many of the vouchers he gave were to touristy traps. Not the biggest fan of super touristy places. We grabbed all the vouchers in case we choose to stop by some of the places. He did give us some club promotions for free entry which would definitely benefit Nyler later in the night. Thankfully, the concierge did mention one food place that sounded pretty good. It was a hole in the wall type place on the way to Senior Frogs that served street tacos. He’d had never been but he’s heard it’s good from others.
Tacos
Not knowing the name of the taco place or an exact address for the place we decide to grab a Lyft and head towards Senior Frogs. The game plan was to hopefully spot the place and have our driver drop us off there. And if we couldn’t find the taco place we could always settle for Senior Frogs. We were famished and needed food NOW. The concierge took way too long giving us suggestions of terrible places to go to.
The taco place was super easy to find, right on the way to Senior Frogs like the concierge described. It was set up similar to a concession stand, with a small seating area outside. It was packed. Good sign. It has to be good if there are lots many people. They had one particular item on the menu that sparked interest in Kelsy. Grasshopper tacos.Gross. Kelsy read about them in the taco encyclopedia I bought her for her birthday and was curious to try them. After mentioning her excitement of trying a grasshopper taco, Nyler decided he was on board to try them as well. I absolutely hate bugs. I did not want to try them. In all honesty, it kind of freaked me out thinking about the little grasshopper eyes and legs. I’m normally very eager to try new and interesting foods, but insects were never something I really cared to ever want to try. Unfortunately I sometimes get a really bad case of FOMO. Fear of missing out. I didn’t want to miss out on this “special” opportunity. I also didn’t want to be the odd man out not trying the tacos. I had to give myself a pep talk to motivate me into getting “excited” to try them. Maybe it’ll be a satisfying feeling crunching down on the little bugs with my teeth. It’ll satisfy my hatred for them. I ordered them…along with 2 normaller tacos. Tacos de lengua and tacos al pastor. Beef tongue tacos and marinated pork with pineapple tacos.
I was excited about the guacamole on the grasshopper taco…not so much the grasshoppers. I looked at the grasshoppers. Fairly small. Definitely dead. Dried? Fried maybe? I grab one off the taco and without thinking too much of it plop it in my mouth and start chewing. Hmm. Not bad. They kind of taste like…grass? The grasshoppers had the texture of dried shrimp. They were crunchy and the taste was similar to grass or tea. It kind of makes sense because grasshoppers eat grass right? Honestly, the little bugs weren’t bad at all. They would have been a good snack, especially if they were flavored, like with red cheeto dust. I would totally snack on that at a bar with a pint of beer. Maybe mix them in with some pretzels too and make some sort of snack mix. I was delightfully surprised the taste of the grasshoppers. The taco doesn’t seem at all scary anymore. I did not like the taco. There was just something really odd about the texture combination. You would bite into this smooth creamy guacamole taco and then every now and then there would be this rough crunchy thing in your mouth, completely disrupting the sensation. My mouth was horrified. It was not a happy time while eating the taco. I was afraid of not chewing enough and a rough grasshopper gets stuck in my throat. Thankfully that didn’t happen. After we all finish our grasshopper taco, which we all decided to eat first. We discussed how we all pretty much agreed that those textures were not meant to be paired. Instead a pico de gallo would have been a more fitting to side with the grasshoppers. Perhaps some shredded cabbage. Not guacamole. The other tacos were fantastic. The lengua was seasoned nicely and prepare well, the meat was tender and flavorful. It was my first time trying tacos al pastor. I really enjoyed the seasoned pork with pineapple. The sweetness really enhanced the spices in the pork. There homemade salsa was amazing! I wish I had gotten chips on the side to dip in the salsa. They were so flavorful and definitely had a kick to them too! Mmm. I wished I had ordered more to take home for later. They would have made great late night snacks.
After lunch we decided to go back to our hotel to rest for a bit and plan out the rest of the evening. Knowing us, and how long it takes everyone to get ready, we decided to get ready for the night before heading out for dinner. We eat dinner at one of the touristy places the concierge recommended earlier. The food was good but I wished we’d gone somewhere more authentic. After dinner we made it back to our hotel just in time for our hotel’s social hour. Free drinks! Perfect pregame. The social mixer was okay. The drinks served were simple wells alcohol and your choice of mixer. If you arrived early it was easy to order drinks but if you arrived late it gets super crowded around the bar. Getting drinks becomes difficult and all of the available seats are taken. We stayed until the end of the mixer and then left.
Night 2
First stop: Fire and Ice Bar. Pregame 2 before heading out. Nyler was really excited about this place. It featured an ice bar where everything inside was made of ice. Our hotel cards gave us a discount to the place as well. We decided to check it out. It was a neat experience getting dressed up in large furry coats and boats to enter the ice bar. It was fun but kind of boring. There weren’t many people there and it was a small space. Once we had enough we went to the fire portion of the bar, this was a normal bar with fire themed decorations. Their drinks were fire and ice themed too. I ordered a drink that featured freeze dried raspberries and burnt citrus. It was yummy. Once we experienced everything there was to experience at the Fire and Ice Bar we decided to head off to the next location.
While in our Uber (we switched to Uber because the Lyft I called was very confused and nowhere near our location; I didn’t want to risk canceling and getting the same driver) we asked our driver to take us to one of the clubs we had free entrance to. While making conversation with the driver we asked how the place was. “Expensive.” From what we gathered talking to him, the clubs we planned on going to would be similar to the club we went the night before. He recommended Wynwood Walls. Hmm. Hottie from the plane mentioned this place. “There’s a food truck festival going on right now.” “Will there be tacos?” “Yeah. There’s a great taco place there.” YES!!!! We were convinced. Driver turn around and take us to the tacos.
Wynwood and more tacos
Wynwood was by far my favorite place in Miami. The walls were covered in art. The atmosphere was lit with electricity. The taco shop our driver dropped us off at had really good tacos. They even gave Kelcy a free corn and a free round of tequila shops for her birthday.
We explored the streets and eventually found the food truck festival. Nearby there was huge outdoor party going on with a DJ up front playing music and tents in the back serving alcohol. It was extremely hot and humid. We stuck towards the outskirts of masses of dancing people. There were a few guys doing a dance off nearby us. We stuck around and watched them. It eventually got to gross to stay outside. We went back to the streets to find a bar where we could sit and cool off. The bar we ended up at had a really neat atmosphere. It had cafe like seating but decorated like an art gallery. There were different paintings and pieces all over the walls. There was also an outdoor patio where another outdoor dance party was going on. Drinks weren’t badly priced at the bar either. The bartender accidentally charged Nyler too much for the drinks he ordered and gave him a free round of shots. The night was getting late we thought to checkout the dance party outside before heading back. The party was lively for out late the night was. We stayed outside until the bar closed and got a Lyft back to our hotel. I changed and packed. I had an early flight to catch the next morning. I probably got about an hour’s rest before heading off to the airport.
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